One Year Later

October 21, 2019

It’s amazing how much can change in a year.

The photo on the left popped up in my phone memories today. A year ago, I was running around a pumpkin patch in Tennessee with Zach. We’d been trying for a baby for a long time and had no idea what was wrong. I was in denial we had infertility. I remember ovulating on the trip and thinking this would be THE TIME. I was 100000% convinced I was pregnant in this picture on the left. “Maybe this is why we haven’t had a baby yet - we had to have a cool story like coming to Tennessee” I thought.

Spoiler alert, we didn’t come home from that trip with a baby. That girl had no idea the trials that were waiting for her soon after this picture was taken - infertility testing, devastating medical news, a major car crash, recurring massive depression & anxiety. Wanting to give up. Yelling at God constantly.

A year later, I’m running around a different pumpkin patch, lugging around a baby pumpkin in my stomach instead, counting down the days until her arrival. I know I’m a broken record about this, but I’m just truly in awe of how much has changed in this amount of time. I had no reason to believe I’d be having a baby right now. I had every reason to believe it wasn’t ever going to happen.

It’s been a great reminder to me that no matter the trial, they don’t last forever. Sometimes you only have to wait a few weeks...sometimes it’s years or a lifetime. But trials don’t last forever. It’s easy to feel hopeless & like the sun won’t rise again, but it ALWAYS does. Never in the time we want it to (so annoying, right?!) but the sun always rises on us again.

So keep holding on. Keep hoping. Keep believing. You never know how quickly things can turn around.❤️

(And for fun, here's the first picture Zach & I took together 5 years ago, also at a pumpkin patch, next to our recent one this year - a LOT has definitely changed in that time!)

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