If your faith is shaky, if you feel hurt or mad or confused, if you don’t know up from down in the gospel right now, I see you. Yesterday afternoon I just cried and cried, confused and lost myself. (This MTC case has really thrown me for a loop you guys)

I was told some people think I have some kind of blind faith or acceptance about my religion and that’s just not true. I have STRUGGLED since before I was baptized and 10 years later, I still find some things a hard pill to swallow. I get mad, I get hurt, and there are things I don’t understand. There are seasons of solid ground but definitely times where I feel like I’m on the edge and just want to jump off.

Today, I was teaching our Primary kiddos about the Atonement and Resurrection and I was SO overcome with emotion I could barely get the words out. I was immediately reminded that THIS is what it’s all about. Not cultural idiosyncrasies, not flawed men making poor poor choices in the organization, not a rogue line of scripture that makes no sense to me. It’s Jesus. It’s Him. And He is simple. He is perfect. When I want to jump off the edge of the gospel & church, He shows up and pulls me away.

I really don’t know why I’m sharing this, just feeling like if I don’t, my brain will explode. Maybe just to say: if you’re struggling too (now or anytime), just know you aren’t alone. Faith is HARD. Mortality is messy & confusing. There is no shame in struggle, doubt, anger, confusion, questions, etc.❤️

Just some quick thoughts from attending X4 this week:

“Where we put our attention determines the quality of our life”

Got to learn from QUEEN Arianna Huffington and was blown away by her insights into living a more purposeful & happy life (like the quote above). In today’s rat race, we feel like we have to be “always on” to be successful and often distract ourselves with things that frankly don’t matter. Our happiness and quality of life is determined by what we give power to. I feel really strongly about having a purposeful life full of great memories and this morning’s session rang SO TRUE in my heart of hearts.

So HECK YES to a better work/life balance, focusing on what truly matters, creating memories, and saying no so we can say YES to what makes our hearts soar! ❤️❤️❤️
Also, a friendly reminder (esp if you’re like me and “defeatist” is your middle name): live life as if everything is in your favor. Visualize your success early on, because if you can’t believe it, then you can’t become it!✨

“Hopeful” has never been a characteristic I could really relate to. I count myself out before I even have a chance to begin. I’m trying to be better about limiting & false self beliefs, choosing optimism, and visualizing the future I want right now.

This week I’m going to focus on spending a few minutes each morning to set my intentions for the day and repeating optimistic mantras to change my thought patterns.