World Suicide Prevention Day

September 10, 2020


Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. I’ve talked about my suicidal ideation a little, but never felt comfortable talking about it more openly. During one of my most vulnerable & darkest moments, some “close” to me pushed me away, instead of being supportive. They told Zach to leave me and used phrases like “mentally unstable” - people I should’ve been able to lean on weaponized my weakness against me, perpetuating the stigma of mental health and suicidal ideation.

That experience left a mark on me. More ashamed than ever. I never again felt like I could ask for help. This has been my dirty little secret. I’ve struggled with this since I was about 5 (so 27 years!) & postpartum has been no different. Moms are at the greatest risk for suicide between 9-12 months postpartum (which is right where I am now) and boy do I feel it.

I want to move on from the shame and share openly. It’s so important to talk about it, even if it’s uncomfy. I want to scream from the rooftops that

✨THERE IS HEALING
✨YOU SHOULD NOT BE ASHAMED
✨YOU ARE LOVED & WANTED

1 in 3 Utah women experience depression or anxiety during pregnancy or postpartum - this is so common and you aren’t alone or weird or broken. Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death for pregnant and postpartum women in the US and it’s treatable - there are so many resources available, but we need women to feel support & loved in order to reach out for help.

If you’ll let me, I’m planning on sharing a whole post next week about my postpartum mental health. I hope hearing the specifics of my story can help others not feel so alone.

The national suicide prevention lifeline is 1.800.273.TALK (8255) - please reach out if you need support and make sure you are checking on your postpartum friends (long after 12 months too!). 

Thank you to @maternalmentalhealthutah and @evifig for putting this together and these incredible women for standing up in honesty & love:
@abigailkbrady
@thevaginablog
@mywonderwomanjournal
@cydbeer
@essentially_joilful
@risingphoenixpodcast

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