Body positivity is a hard journey in a physical world with too many opinions. I’m embarrassed to share this story from last weekend, which means it’s probably important for me to do it for my own healing & maybe someone else out there:

While on a small propeller plane last weekend, I struggled HARD to get my seatbelt on. While bigger jets have longer belts, the small puddle jumpers have belts apparently only for people under size 16. Part of the problem is the length for sure, but also the extreme & awkward angle to click it tucked down so far to your side.🙃

Regardless of the reason, I panicked HARD. Hyperventilating, sweating, so embarrassed that I was so BIG that the belt wasn’t working easily. My lifetime of self hatred was BACK in full force - calling myself names out loud for all to hear. About how I was a failure, disgusting, a pig & needed to start starving again like I used to, etc etc.

I spent the flight reflecting on my extreme reaction. Why does the seat belt reflect my worth? What about its random length or weird angle means I’m a disgusting pig?? NOTHING actually! Just like how our weight only reflects our relationship to gravity, not anything about our value!

In this physical world, we use numbers and space to assign our worth. I am not a good or bad person whether I have to cram myself into an airplane seat or if I have plenty of room (also, aren’t we all cramming ourselves into airplanes these days??). Don’t let these arbitrary values (pant size, weight, seat comfort, etc) make you think you are any less incredible than you already are!💪🏻

No matter what you are insecure about, whether it’s your appearance or job or identity or marital status or whatever - THEY DO NOT DEFINE YOU.