Why I Hate Dressing Up as Plus Size Girl // Present Is Better Than Perfect

February 19, 2018

Zach & I had the best staycation getaway weekend with Zach’s company - a break from real life, without the stress of travel and 3 miles from our house! Spent 2 nights at the Grand America, dinner at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building, Hunchback at the new Hale Centre Theatre, Top Golf (Zach’s personal fave), FOOD COMAS, and ended with the black tie awards dinner back at the Grand.

Also, can we talk about how good Zach looks in a tux?! Requesting this become a more regular outfit choice because 😍😍😍

A little honesty about this weekend: I REALLY didn’t want to share a full body picture. I posted all about this up on Instagram, but wanted to expand my thoughts a little more here too.

Formal events usually wreck my self esteem. I always feel like I’m the fat girl who is trying too hard and still doesn’t look as good as the “normal” girls. I used to tell myself “a pig with lipstick is still a pig.” (I know, i was BRUTAL to myself!) High school prom, college formals...I even hate how I looked at my wedding!!!

I always get so PSYCHED up like “this is gonna be the time I look thin & pretty & it’ll be magical” and then I stress OUT about finding the perfect dress and how to do my hair & makeup (things I’m not great at anyway).

I would spend so much time trying to look perfect, then see pictures...and fall apart. I never looked as good as I imagined and yeah, I just saw a fat girl who tried too hard. Like no amount of makeup & hair & whatever could cover up the glaringly obvious issues with my body. Above all, I just wanted to look & feel like the “normal” girls and I ALWAYS fell short in my mind.

This weekend was no exception. I’ve been really really hesitant to share a full body picture. This isn’t the picture I’d hoped I’d have. The lighting wasn’t great and the wind was insane and I felt all those insecurities come back about being the “fat girl who tried too hard.” But I got a few encouraging DMs about it so I’m ignoring my negative self talk and posting anyway.💪🏻


Anyway, long story short, if you have ever felt any of the above things, just know you aren’t alone. I get it. BUT: You look perfect as you are today, no matter the outfit or lighting or hair or makeup!!! You look perfect because you are PRESENT. You are creating a full life with incredible memories and those mental images are far more gorgeous than anything a camera can capture.❤️❤️❤️

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